fuck you bobby

 Everyday its something with this dude.  

We have been together a little more than a year and its just gotten worse and worse.  In the beginning he was really sweet and did whatever i asked.  He was always there if i called him, sometimes i didnt even need to call him because somehow he was already there.  Which now looking back on everything should have sounded an alarm, but i thought it was "cool"," like we were just on the same wave length"  or some dumb spiritual bullshit.      It started when we had a small disagreement on something i dont even remember what it was, but i was ignoring his texts and calls.  So to get ahold of me he starts texting my "best friend".   But it wasnt like a hey tell bambi to answer the phone,  it was a "hey shes not answering me, fuck her ...wanna hang out"   (and this bitch isnt really my friend come to find out)  but she tells him yes  and they plan a whole day together going fishing.  And i found this out because she went to shower and her phone kept going off, i went to silence it because it was annoying me and i saw that it was him texting her.  so i got fucking pissed.  And long story short i didnt leave him like i shouldve and i didnt stop being her 'friend' either.  i just let it go after i got really mad about it.  But the next fight we got into he was walking behind me and i was trying to get away from the escalating situation walking in front,  and he pulls me back by my ponytail, so reflex i turn around and knocked him in the jaw.  which made the violence worse and i ended up in the fetal position on the dirty ass ground crying and begging for him to leave me alone.    WHy that fight started? who knows 

He is always mad.  literally all the fucking time he has something to say about something.  And he manages to find a perfect way to make everything my fault.    And i was pretty weak minded in the beginning, i had just lost my dad, and i was in a pretty dark depression i was working thru so like instead of fighting most times id just take it and take it, thinking i was the problem and it was making my depression worse and just not doing me any good.  half the time i dont even know why hes mad but i know hes gonna be because he always is.   

He tells me i need mental help,  im a narcissist, he makes comments about everything i do,   And hes always on the opposite side of anything i want.  He tells his friends ugly untrue stories about our fights always playing the victim,  and even makes me question my own memory!!   he tells me "you know you dont have the best memory i dont know why you still continue to question what i said happened"

And the worst one the one that was it for me,  Was when my son had been the target of some bullies on the school bus, and there was no intervention to prevent anything from escalating for him and he had a break down.  He tried to commit suicide by chocking himself with his jacket, and the police were called eventually and he was taken by the law to a hosipital for a 72 hour suicide evaluation.  Of course my instinct was rush to the hospital so, i tell him what happened and tell him that i needed to go in a hurry.   and he offers to drive me..  And i thought he was just offering a nice gesture showing concern... But then he was like ok are you ready"?  i said yeap, and he said ok give me 5 mins.    im like ok,  i go and sit in the car waiting,  10 misn go by and i go to see what hes doing and hes in the shower.  im telling him i need to go im just gonna take my car, and hes like insistent that i wait for him because he wants to go and wants my son to see us both there for him.  I think its a good idea so i wait a little.  ANd i being to get impatient and pissed off. so i just leave in my own car.  well as soon as i leave,  hes all o a sudden ready to go and drives like a maniac right behind me,  tailgating me pissed off because i left.  And he calls me saying he doesnt have any gas in his truck and he had to leave insuch a hurry that he left his wallet at his house.  SO now im worried that hes gonna run tf out of gas and hes gonna call me telling me to go get his dumbass when he runs out of gas instead of jsut allowing me to go be with my son when he needed me there.    That was enough man i was like fuck you dude  i am not doing this shit.  you had plenty of time to get anything you needed i needed to get to my son. and thats what im doing.