nautical heart

 its officially been a year that you have been out, and you havent tried to say hi...at all. Im still thinking and hoping that one day,  youll call. If that day ever comes I dont think id even know what to say, i wonder if i would recognize your voice right away. Truth is i dont want small talk. I dont want just a phone call, i want you to show up, at any time of the day or night, i want to see your face i want to hug your arms i want to run and jump into you like we used to.  I want to be in your presence and finally breathe you in again. i dont think you know near at all how badly youve been missed.    Its hurting me that you have the ability to do this,  and yet you still havent.  im starting to think you dont want to see me and that you never missed me and we were never in love but i know thats fucking bullshit!! idk whats wrong but im not mad at you for anything. or if its something i did jordan fucking tell me so i can fix it. grampy youre the on...

 i wish i never met you  id be blissfully unaware, of how bad id fucking miss you and how nobody else compares. I wish i never knew your name, or heard you laugh. I really just want to forget all of that. I want to just go back in time and save my heart its ache.